Paris Saint-Germain lost another game on Saturday on their visit to Monaco (3-1) as part of the 23rd game of the Ligue 1 campaign. It was a truly embarrassing performance in which a barren team impacted by injuries and Virus Galtier could do nothing to stop Monaco, now sitting third in the table.
No number of issues, no matter how big or large that is, will ever be enough for Christophe Galtier or PSG as a whole to excuse themselves from such a putrid outing as the one witnessed the world over on Saturday. Julian Nagelsmann must be sipping tea this morning while rejoicing and licking his chops ahead of Tuesday's massive UCL showdown.
Here are the grades from our Parisian men after they lost their fourth game of the 2023 calendar year in less than one month and a half of play, this time on the lawn of Monaco at the Stade Louis-II.
7 - Donnarumma: God bless Gigio's soul for preventing PSG from falling to Monaco by a score difference in the double digits instead of just two goals. What can a goalkeeper do when he plays against 11 opposing players and three or four (the defenders of PSG, just in case) also contribute and help and helping the other team find spaces and generate chances in bunches? He should have just demanded a sub off by the halftime whistle and I'd have respected a decision of not even showing up for the second half.
4 - Danilo: It's not that the Portugal international put on a show on Saturday, far from it. But considering he had to stop the opposition from generating offensive actions while also keeping Pembele and Bitshiabu awake and constantly on alert, that was a massive effort by this poor man.
(Sub) 3 - Gharbi: He came on the pitch with the shocks halfway there. He also had a middling game while on the turf, but he's 1) a freaking underage guy playing against Monaco away from home and 2) moved all across the pitch by a coach that doesn't have a clue about what the hell he's trying to do.
Second game in a row in which Gianluigi Donnarumma is the best player from PSG... in two consecutive defeats
1 - Bitshiabu: He's still a youngster. He's also years away from being usable at the highest of stakes if what he did yesterday is what should be expected from him on a weekly basis. Didn't see the first goal coming at any moment, and the ball he lost for the 2-0 was totally avoidable with a simple pass back to the goalie. Disastrous at the very least.
(Sub) 5 - Ramos: Did more in 45 minutes than Bitshiabu would have done in 45 matches like yesterday's. Could have scored an own goal but of course, Gigio was there to save him from that disgrace. Not the worst cameo, all things considered.
2 - Marquinhos: He calls himself the captain of PSG. LOL.
2 - Pembele: Awareness levels five feet under. The 3-1 comes off a ridiculous run on the right flank in which he enables Monaco's poacher to remain onside while he had not a single chance of catching him running back. Had he realized, that goal would have been ruled offside and wiped off the scoreboard still keeping PSG in the game entering the halfway break. Hakimi and Nordi Mukiele can't get fit soon enough, seriously.
(Sub) 3 - Hakimi: Nothing he could do in his 30+ minutes of play with how the team was working going forward. I don't even really know how to grade his outing. Would have gotten a bonus point without the yellow card, I guess.
3 - Bernat: The goal came from his left foot as he was the one connecting with Carlos Soler first and then assisting Zaire-Emery, so he saves face a bit. A bit. Because the defensive efforts were beyond awful and most worryingly, Bayern Munich groomed him a few years back and knows how to exploit him. Tough Tuesday ahead.
5 - Zaire-Emery: Boring performance but more than passable from a guy still nearly a month from turning 17 years old. Yes, you read that right. WZE stayed cool, calm, and collected on the pitch at all times. He knew how and when and where to move. He found spaces, smelled a goal, and pounced on the chance cutting Monaco's lead in half only to have the rest of his teammates waste his effort minutes later. Gotta feel bad for the poor kid. Here's hoping he keeps getting minutes because he looks like the only positive development of the Parisian season.
4 - Soler: I'm starting to think Soler is a great mid-team player but a bad huge-team performer. In other words, when he's given the reins (aka when he doesn't share the pitch with the likes of Messi, Mbappe, and Neymar all together and he's the one leading the team by himself) he is kinda good and knows how to operate and make his teammates function. When he's forced into a peripheral/auxiliary role, he plain sucks. It was a little bit of a mixed bag yesterday, but the highs weren't that high at all anyway so he still gets the mediocre grade. Nice vision on the goal play, though.
2 - Vitinha: From pivot to 10 to midfielder to striker to wing-back to whatever Galtier wakes up feeling like using this lad, am I right? It is not that Vitinha is exempt from fault, obviously, but he's used in a completely different role every single game without ever stringing similar roles/matches. That gotta drive a young player crazy, and it's showing weekly with Vitinha, PSG, and Galtier at the freaking helm. Reports emerged about him suffering from the virus... well, yes, assuming the virus goes by the name of Galtier.
(Sub) NR - Kimpembe: Returned to the pitch. That's more than good news, I guess, considering the state of affairs at PSG these days. Can't rate him with just 10 minutes of playing time on Saturday. That said, his megaphone stint after the game dealing with the Ultras was sublime. Let's hope he is able to reestablish some order in the locker ahead of Tuesday.
3 - Ekitike: Tried to stretch the defense a bit vertically after the disaster of Marseille last Wednesday and kinda succeeded to the extent that PSG sucked overall, which doesn't mean that much in the context of yesterday's game... Still don't know if he was absolutely lost in the goal play or if he actually knew what he was doing with the deceiving run that enabled Bernat's pass to reach Zaire-Emery. But that was a bright moment, indeed.
(Sub) NR - Housni: Meaningless cameo. At least the broadcasters had to name him and tell us a bit about his background, so folks got a bit of information about the young lad. Enough is enough.
1 - Neymar: Shout-out Ney for leading the PSG squad in bitching, not caring about what matters, not doing any single positive on the pitch, and criticizing all living Parisian souls while roaming the pitch himself and looking more like an afterthought than the supposed leader of the biggest team in France. Messi was out, Mbappe was out, hell even Verratti was out. It was all about Neymar yesterday, on paper at least, until it definitely wasn't and the most worrying thing is that all of the bad was because of his own wrongdoings and nothing else. Hurt to watch, but if this is the Neymar that is going to be playing in Paris for the remainder of his deal with PSG he's better off getting sold. For real.